The middle finger is standard, where you your index finger.
A good way to tell if she has been doing this correctly is that this should be blocking her view on the batter and catcher. Okay, so we have a baseball themed birthday party for you kid. https://dobetterhub.com/doku.php?id=youth_baseball_gloves_101:a_pa_ent_s_guide_to_choosing_the_ight_size